by | Oct 8, 2017 | Uncategorized
With back to school in full swing I am finding our family nicely settling into our “school year” routines and finding our groove. I am also noticing how intentional I need to be in order to create space for strong connection with my kids.
There are so many things that have an impact on our relationships with our kids. Yes, appointments, activities and play dates can mean time away from our kids, and being physically disconnected from them. But I’m also talking about those things we don’t see – things that can get in the way of us connecting with our kids – assumptions, expectations, judgements, perceptions, personalities and labels, for example.
I was thinking the other day about how “messy” after school pickup sometimes feels for me. I get to the school to pick up my oldest child, so excited to see and connect with her. With me, are my other two little peanuts, each having their own feelings and excitement around picking up their big sister. Just inside the door is my sunshine, waiting to burst out the door and share with us all about her day. Then “it” happens. My youngest decides it’s a great time to eat rocks and dirt, my middle one decides he is Spiderman who can scale and leap off the fence, the door opens and my oldest is running towards me ready to come in for a hug, the teacher is calling me over to talk about something great that happened that day, another parent wants to talk about arranging a play, and me, I’m a hot mess! I find myself standing there wondering: Where are my children? I need to connect with my oldest daughter! How long will it take to get across the park and strap the kids in the car? Did I leave the conversation with that other parent/teacher mid-sentence?
In the end, I find myself sitting in my car, sometimes laughing, asking myself “what the heck just happened?!?” When we get home, I might find myself still preoccupied with those questions in my head, and not being present and enjoying the connection I’m having with my kids as we’re colouring together at the table sharing about the day.
When I find myself feeling like this “hot mess”, I take some deep breaths and give myself permission to process and notice what just happened – meaning, I get “selfish” and grant myself permission for some self-care, some self-connection and some alone time. I get curious with myself, and explore how I’m feeling – without judgement. I realize that in the example I shared, what’s getting in the way of me connecting with my oldest daughter is expectation, assumption, judgment and guilt. I have an expectation of how after school pickup is supposed to go. I assume that my oldest daughter wants connection right at that moment after school to look a certain way. I judge myself for not showing up “better”. I feel a ton of guilt around not being a “good enough” mother.
My truth is, I am a great mother and the connections I have with my children are beautiful. Another truth for me is that I sometimes want time with my kids to feel and look a bit different, and that’s okay – I can get intentional about creating space for that too.
Three things come to mind when thinking about what I need to create space and time for connection with my kids:
1. Self-Care – I need time to hear myself think, process my thoughts and get curious with myself – while journaling, at a yoga class, out for a walk, or conversation with people who support me in moving forward. This also means designing my days in a way that fulfills me, not saying “yes” to everything and everyone, and not jam packing my days with a “to do” list that leaves me feeling overwhelmed and drained.
2. Acceptance – For me, this means really letting go of expectation and how things “should” be. Instead, embracing the now. This doesn’t mean losing sight of what’s important for me, but instead appreciating that connection can look and feel so many beautiful ways. There is no right/wrong, black/white for me when it comes to connection.
3. Intention – Connection with my children is so very important for me, and it takes commitment to create space for it. I am intentional about leaving the dishes for later – playing Jenga and Uno, reading together, creating clay objects, rolling around on the floor, laying on the bed chatting about the day and not rushing through bedtime – that’s important for me.
What’s getting in the way of you connecting with your kids? Think about a time when you have felt like a “hot mess”. What was going on? What was getting in the way of you connecting with your child? What do you love about your connection with your kids? What do you want more of? What do you want less of?
Self Awareness Coach Northwest Calgary
Here’s to beautiful connection with your kids!
Want some support in creating space for connection with your kids? Contact me and lets get started! Make coaching part of your regular self-care routine, and let it support you in getting intentional. COACHING promotion – Sign up for 3 months of coaching and get a 4th month free! Book your complimentary sample session with Amanda today – Call 403-452-6262!
Amanda is a self-awareness and fulfillment coach. Amanda coaches and supports people in living healthy, balanced and fulfilled lives. She coaches and honours the whole person – mind, body and spirit. Her clients experience fulfillment in all parts of their lives – health, family, relationships, career, and beyond – and they value and appreciate that all parts of their lives are connected, and that we all have responsibility in and for the world around us. She lives in Calgary, Alberta, Canada with her loving husband and three inspiring children.
by | Oct 4, 2017 | Wellness Recipes
It’s Thanksgiving in Calgary and it’s that time of year when you eat and eat and eat, sleep and then eat again. There is nothing wrong with enjoying some good comfort food with friends and family so we wanted to add in our little healthy version of a favorite. ENJOY this Brussels Sprout Caesar Salad from our very own Dr. Michelle Hagel ND!
•1 lb Extra Lean Ground Chicken (cooked)
•5 cups Brussels Sprouts (halved)
•1/2 cup Radishes (sliced)
•1/2 cup Pumpkin Seeds
•1/3 cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil
•1 Garlic (whole head)
•1/2 Lemon (juiced)
•2 tbsps Dijon Mustard
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1. Preheat oven to 400. In a large bowl, toss brussels sprouts with olive oil and season with sea salt and pepper. Place on baking sheet lined with parchment paper or foil.
2. Slice the top off of the head of garlic and peel away the skin so the cloves are showing. Drizzle with olive oil and wrap in foil. Place on the baking sheet with the brussels sprouts. Place in oven and bake for 30 minutes. At the 30 minutes, remove the Brussel sprouts and let the garlic cook for another 15 minutes.
3. Remove garlic from oven and let cool. When cool enough to handle, pinch the cloves out one-by-one into a food processor/blender. Add the remaining olive oil, lemon juice, mustard and season with a bit of salt and pepper. Blend until creamy.
4. Place the brussels sprouts, radish, and ground chicken into the large mixing bowl and add the desired amount of garlic dressing. Toss well. Place in a bowl and garnish with seeds and season with salt and pepper. Enjoy!
Treat yourself with this delicious salad recipe! For more health care benefits contact us today!
by | Sep 25, 2017 | Uncategorized
BRAVE. This is the power you find within you. It is what ignites your spirit, calls to your heart and gives you endurance in life when facing all obstacles. Brave is not always fearless, but it is limitless. Do you have an image that comes to mind when you think of Brave? I think of a warrior standing strong, feeling alive, clear and transcendent in body, mind and spirit. I could paint a picture across the heavens, in my mind’s eye when I envision what Brave means to me.
Now, at this point, you may be conjuring up you own amazing images, or you may be asking, what? Well, for those of you who are contemplating and painting in your own mind (or on your bedroom wall!), keep at it. For those of you reading this article thinking, what is she talking about? Brave isn’t for me, that is just for people who are confident, successful, have life figured out and are living on easy street, or fight fires, rescue people, and serve in the army.Now, what I, Lisa, am talking about is something so possible, so life enriching, so healing and empowering it may just knock your socks off when you find your very own Brave.
Who is Brave For?
Every single living breathing soul in this world. People who are suffering from abuse, live in poverty, are alone in the world and scared, may be living with chronic pain or terminal illness, suffering loss and dealing with change. To the parent of young children who feels exhausted and overwhelmed after a long day. To the employee who wants to shine his or her light in the company and feels undervalued. To the young man who wants to go on a date with a beautiful girl he just met. To the students who worry if they will pass exams and get to graduate. To the man or woman who is contemplating retirement after years of service, wondering how the future might look. Brave is for us all. “When you find your Brave inside you will know what I am talking about“
6 Ideas to Inspire Your Brave
1. Music – have songs you like? Here are my favorites for Brave (check them out on YouTube – and better yet dance to them, I do with my kids!): Music Monday “Sing It Together”, “Be Brave” by Sara Bareilles, “Fight Song” by Rachel Patton, “Try Everything” by Shakira
2. Symbols – surround yourself with pictures, objects, quotes – the ones that remind you about your Brave
3. Self-Talk – what is going on in your brain? Is it lifting you up or taking you down?
4. Books – my favorites – “Rising Strong” by Brene Brown, “Fierce Conversations” by Susan Scott
5. Stories – listen to other people’s struggles and triumphs
6. Support – don’t hold fear inside, it needs to breathe and move for you to be Brave. Check in with a friend, family member, teacher, psychologist, other health practitioner. The people you feel safe with, who remind you who you are and lift you up when you feel like you can’t rise on your own.
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Believe in yourself. Anything is possible, go create magnificence in your life as you are already brilliant, beautiful, strong, full of heart and courage. I believe in you.
This is why I love my work at Docere Wellness Centre. I meet so many inspiring and determined clients who have taught me what living courageously and being Brave are. I have met people who are hurting, who have had enough of not feeling well, who ask me for support and as a result,and though I probably have not told them, they have been my inspirational guides who have helped me find my own Brave.
So I thank all of my clients and coworkers from the deepest ventures of my heart for all that you give me everyday. May I always pay it forward, be of service and BE BRAVE.
Want to achieve optimal health? Visit Docere Wellness Centre Today!
by | Sep 13, 2017 | Uncategorized
As I sit here writing my article on organization I realize it is rather an inspired topic for me. I used to think in order to share or teach something I had to have it all figured out. Yet I have had a few teachers who reminded me that we often teach best that which we are learning. And if you saw my home office at the moment, you would say “I can’t wait to see how this goes!”
My article here is all about “Organization”! Guess what I am learning, grassroots, roll-up your sleeves kind of style? I do have a sense of humor over this, otherwise I would have a good cry over the state of my home office at the moment. I moved house about three weeks ago, minus a week on vacation, two busy kids starting school and digging through (on their own I might add) piles of boxes in the basement looking for things. Until I realize they are down there messing around and find them something less deranging to do. My home office is my inspiration though for purposes of this article (I will deal with the basement another day).
In my home, the office is the command ship for household organization, with the kitchen in second command. I have two girls, one in grade 5 and one in grade 1. They are bright, articulate, delightful and bring home pieces of paper whether it be forms, art or just plain stuff everyday. It usually lands on my desk. And they want to do everything instantaneously as soon as they get an idea, no matter how much of a mess it could make. Plus program registrations, playdates that didn’t happen in the summer, tracking the school calendar for the year, appointments, library book due dates, menu plans for lunches to name a few. Back to school honestly used to scare me! This year I decided it could make me crazy (as throw in the fact I just movedhouse on top of it all) or I could take a deep breath, give myself a boost and say “I can totally do this”. Here is my “how to manage it list”.
Top 6 Strategies I Use Personally to Get Organized
1. Remind myself it is ok to cry (seriously, but you can totally laugh!)
2. Start with a 10 minute tidy of ONE room (eg office). Whatever you can grab and put away, don’t get bogged down on details, don’t pause, go with momentum and set a timer. Pick the easy, obvious stuff that has a home and put it away. For me that looks like tidy office supplies, kids toys out, anything that does not belong in the office. Put paper in the printer.
3. Sort what is left. Lay out tidy piles – such as imminent must dos, receipts, mail, school paperwork, work paperwork, filing, etc.
4. Do you need organizing materials – make a shopping list – file trays, office supplies, filing cabinet, pin up board, file folders, etc.Part of being organized means having what you need on hand. Also look at your space – clearly define what areas in your space will be used for, same with file trays. If it is doubling as homework space, your kids each need their own basket/tray to put their things in. Cork pin up boards are very helpful above a desk as is a calendar.
5. Make a to do list and prioritize. Choose one project at a time. You might set up categories for separate to do lists – work, school, family social, kids registered activities, house, health/self-care. That is how you will deal with those piles you made so things do not get missed and you do not get overwhelmed or stuck.
6. Back to school specifics – print off the school calendar for the year and enter professional development days and holidays into YOUR calendar (include significant days such as Halloween, Christmas, Valentines, Easter that schools celebrate). Plan for a heap of school forms coming home in Sept. Check on your security clearance for volunteering. Make sure school, childcare and program registrations are paid. Bring up fall clothing from storage, go shoe and winter boot shopping this month of September (my favorite shoe store is Little Footprints in Aspen Landing, they take care of my kids’ footwear all year). Menu planning and having groceries on hand will make life a lot smoother, economical and healthier during the work and school week.
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The Trick To Making It Work
It is always the hardest in the middle of a cleanup job as that is when you want to quit. Don’t – you will get to the end if you stick to it! If you leave it spread out in a bigger mess it will haunt you and your self-esteem will suffer. Yes, clutter and disorder have the power to do this to you. So take charge! Use a timer, take breaks outside of the room.=
Take care of yourself. Drink water, sleep, eat decently and regularly and have fun. Go for a massage on a Saturday afternoon followed by a walk through the neighborhood. It is beautiful outside in September and October as the leaves take on golden hues and crunch beneath your shoes, the fall winds blow through the grasses, singing songs of summer. Look up at the sky and feel blessed with gratitude for all that you have.
Best part of it all? We find ourselves teaching our children how to organize, be accepting of change and managing self-care amongst a big to do list. It is a great gift to bestow upon them.
Roll up your sleeves, join me on my trek of organizing for back to school and let me hear you cheer!
Treat yourself to a relaxing massage at Docere Wellness Centre today!
by | Aug 7, 2017 | Uncategorized
Recommended Book – “Excuses Begone” by Dr. Wayne Dyer
This book, “Excuses Begone” by Dr. Wayne Dyer is a favorite of mine. I first spent time reading it about eight years ago, while on vacation in New York City. As my oldest daughter was only two years old at the time, I didn’t have a lot of time to read, but got a few chapters in along the way and eventually finished the rest at home. This trip to New York was also one of two opportunities I have had to see Dr. Dyer present in person. Although he passed away a couple of years ago, I won’t forget his presence and charisma as he articulated a compelling argument for quitting with excuses. It really hit home for me. As I sifted through his insightful and sociable prose in the book, I took a good long look (sheepishly at times) as to where I was making excuses in my own life. After all, this man quit alcoholism, dealt with unhealthy relationship habits and took on a fitness program from scratch. I thought, really, I am inspired and my personal list of not dealing with some things was not that intense.
Back in Calgary after our trip, continuing with my sleep deprivation saga as a full-time stay at home parent (no my daughter still wasn’t sleeping through the night yet), I felt very justified by excuses of “I will deal with that later when I get some sleep”. The funny thing about life is, it will wait for you for a bit, but it builds like a teetering Lego tower when you put it off for too long. What could have been simple and short lived, I waited another few years before dealing with a few of my hang-ups.
This is the thing with me. I have a LOT of determination (yes, I have had to learn a lot of patience along the way as I know the world doesn’t always work on my schedule!). I can put things off for a bit, but my intuition pops little nuggets of info into my mind every once in a while that I cannot ignore. Then I realize, ugh. I know when I don’t listen and ignore this voice of wisdom inside of me, life will be much harder, there will be tears, grouchiness and flack that I could have mostly avoided had I stopped “MAKING EXCUSES” and got on with what I know I needed to do. Facing our excuses requires courage, even if it may seem simple on the surface. We face a part of ourselves whom we have neglected for whatever reason.
This can be scary. How do I face the tough stuff? Pure grit, faith, determination and believing in myself. That and I have a great support network in case I really make a mess of it!
Self Care Activities Calgary
The reason I chose this book to recommend to you is it provides us with the opportunity to examine what is getting in our way when we want to make changes in our lives to be healthier. We all have desires for personal growth inside of us. Many of us consciously want to grow and heal and feel better. All the resources you will need for your journey will find you when you are ready. Just like I came across Wayne Dyer’s book, “Excuses Begone”.
Need support and a few ideas to help you along your way? Come on over to Docere and get started!
