What’s getting in the way of connection with your kids?

by | Oct 8, 2017 | Uncategorized

By Amanda Delamer, MSc, ACC, CPCC

With back to school in full swing I am finding our family nicely settling into our “school year” routines and finding our groove. I am also noticing how intentional I need to be in order to create space for strong connection with my kids.

There are so many things that have an impact on our relationships with our kids. Yes, appointments, activities and play dates can mean time away from our kids, and being physically disconnected from them. But I’m also talking about those things we don’t see – things that can get in the way of us connecting with our kids – assumptions, expectations, judgements, perceptions, personalities and labels, for example.

I was thinking the other day about how “messy” after school pickup sometimes feels for me. I get to the school to pick up my oldest child, so excited to see and connect with her. With me, are my other two little peanuts, each having their own feelings and excitement around picking up their big sister. Just inside the door is my sunshine, waiting to burst out the door and share with us all about her day. Then “it” happens. My youngest decides it’s a great time to eat rocks and dirt, my middle one decides he is Spiderman who can scale and leap off the fence, the door opens and my oldest is running towards me ready to come in for a hug, the teacher is calling me over to talk about something great that happened that day, another parent wants to talk about arranging a play, and me, I’m a hot mess! I find myself standing there wondering: Where are my children? I need to connect with my oldest daughter! How long will it take to get across the park and strap the kids in the car? Did I leave the conversation with that other parent/teacher mid-sentence?

In the end, I find myself sitting in my car, sometimes laughing, asking myself “what the heck just happened?!?” When we get home, I might find myself still preoccupied with those questions in my head, and not being present and enjoying the connection I’m having with my kids as we’re colouring together at the table sharing about the day.

When I find myself feeling like this “hot mess”, I take some deep breaths and give myself permission to process and notice what just happened – meaning, I get “selfish” and grant myself permission for some self-care, some self-connection and some alone time. I get curious with myself, and explore how I’m feeling – without judgement. I realize that in the example I shared, what’s getting in the way of me connecting with my oldest daughter is expectation, assumption, judgment and guilt. I have an expectation of how after school pickup is supposed to go. I assume that my oldest daughter wants connection right at that moment after school to look a certain way. I judge myself for not showing up “better”. I feel a ton of guilt around not being a “good enough” mother.

My truth is, I am a great mother and the connections I have with my children are beautiful. Another truth for me is that I sometimes want time with my kids to feel and look a bit different, and that’s okay – I can get intentional about creating space for that too.

Three things come to mind when thinking about what I need to create space and time for connection with my kids:

1.  Self-Care – I need time to hear myself think, process my thoughts and get curious with myself – while journaling, at a yoga class, out for a walk, or conversation with people who support me in moving forward. This also means designing my days in a way that fulfills me, not saying “yes” to everything and everyone, and not jam packing my days with a “to do” list that leaves me feeling overwhelmed and drained.

2.  Acceptance – For me, this means really letting go of expectation and how things “should” be. Instead, embracing the now. This doesn’t mean losing sight of what’s important for me, but instead appreciating that connection can look and feel so many beautiful ways. There is no right/wrong, black/white for me when it comes to connection.

3.  Intention – Connection with my children is so very important for me, and it takes commitment to create space for it. I am intentional about leaving the dishes for later – playing Jenga and Uno, reading together, creating clay objects, rolling around on the floor, laying on the bed chatting about the day and not rushing through bedtime – that’s important for me.

What’s getting in the way of you connecting with your kids? Think about a time when you have felt like a “hot mess”. What was going on? What was getting in the way of you connecting with your child? What do you love about your connection with your kids? What do you want more of? What do you want less of?

Self Awareness Coach Northwest Calgary

Here’s to beautiful connection with your kids!

Want some support in creating space for connection with your kids? Contact me and lets get started! Make coaching part of your regular self-care routine, and let it support you in getting intentional. COACHING promotion – Sign up for 3 months of coaching and get a 4th month free! Book your complimentary sample session with Amanda today – Call 403-452-6262!

Amanda is a self-awareness and fulfillment coach. Amanda coaches and supports people in living healthy, balanced and fulfilled lives. She coaches and honours the whole person – mind, body and spirit. Her clients experience fulfillment in all parts of their lives – health, family, relationships, career, and beyond – and they value and appreciate that all parts of their lives are connected, and that we all have responsibility in and for the world around us. She lives in Calgary, Alberta, Canada with her loving husband and three inspiring children.

Meet Alisha our Newest Naturopathic Addition

by | Sep 30, 2017 | Uncategorized

Dr. Alisha Rawji BSc (Kin) ND, graduated from the Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine (CCNM) in Toronto, Ontario in 2015. She received a Bachelor of Science degree (majoring in Kinesiology) prior to that in 2009 from the University of Calgary.

Dr. Rawji is dedicated to the practice of Naturopathic medicine and enjoys not only the practice locally, but also has a keen interest in international projects around the world. In 2011, she took part in a global initiative by Naturopaths Without Borders (NWB) in which she, alongside many Naturopaths and Naturopathic students, treated patients at an entirely volunteer-based clinic. It is located just outside of Cap Haitian Haiti. The program named Mama Baby Haiti, focuses primarily on aiding the birthing process, as well as many other initiatives, with a broad spectrum of health concerns.

In 2013, she received additional training from The Other Song Homeopathic Training Clinic in Mumbai India, which is led by Dr. Rajan Sankaran. Dr. Sankaran is a world renowned medical doctor and homeopath and is the founder of the well-known and widely used Constitutional Homeopathic Sensation Method.  This method includes a detailed intake process which helps uncovers deeper, hidden, and often unconscious parts of an individual which can contribute to many of the symptoms one faces regularly or even, on an ongoing and daily basis. At this clinic, she also learned from a medically trained psychiatrist who uses homeopathy as an adjunct treatment for various mood, stress, and anxiety disorders. She took part in the case taking and treatment protocols from practitioners who very successfully integrate medical knowledge and natural treatments concurrently.  That same year, she traveled to Chiang Mai, Thailand and was able to learn, (and can now formally teach), classes in Qi Gong and Tai Chi.

Dr. Rawji is passionate about each and every aspect of holistic and Naturopathic medicine, and grows more and more fascinated by it each day. She knows firsthand that by uncovering the root causes of symptoms, and by changing not only our diet and lifestyle, but also by managing thoughts, behaviours and strengthening our social interactions, we are able to find peace of mind. By working on all parts of an individual including, body, mind, and energetic aspects of a person, we are able to move through symptoms and past major and key blockages that may be hindering us from achieving our optimal and best selves.

Dr. Rawji uses a gentle and caring approach with her patients and encourages mind-body techniques and mental and emotional strengthening. This is combined with proven Naturopathic approaches (such as traditional Chinese medicine, including Chinese herbs, acupuncture, and cupping; nutritional, lifestyle and supplement counselling; acute and constitutional homeopathy; botanical, functional and Orthomolecular medicine). She does so in an engaging, compassionate, and empathic manner and uses current and up-to-date therapies in a wholistic and individualized approach. Dr. Rawji firmly believes that optimal health and best patient-care is achieved when a collective and integrated approach is used.  This means that working alongside medical doctors, as well as all other health care practitioners is the best, most effective way to achieve maximum results.  Working together, and sharing knowledge and expertise amongst all health care professionals, in a collaborative manner, is a strong mandate of her naturopathic practice.

Naturopathic Medicine Calgary

Dr. Rawji is a board-certified member of both the Canadian Association of Naturopathic Doctors (CAND) and the College of Naturopathic Doctors of Alberta (CAND) in good standing. She is able to treat a wide array of conditions, as well as the improvement of general and overall health concerns. She has a special interest in mental health including depression, anxiety, fatigue, stress/sleep management, mood disorders, ADD/ADHD, smoking cessation, cravings, emotional and/or hormonal imbalances and infertility. She also has a keen interest in treating gastrointestinal disturbances and food sensitivity identification, skin conditions, diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, chronic pain, weight loss and fitness, and has a strong passion for geriatric/seniors’ health. Some of her main influences include Brené Brown PhD, Dr. Gabor Mate MD, Dr. Paul Epstein ND, and others who focus their healthcare practices on the mind-body connection. Dr. Rawji is fluent in English, French and Gujrathi and is currently learning ASL (American Sign Language).

Look after your health today and in the future. Book an appointment with Docere Wellness today!

How To Get Your BRAVE ON

by | Sep 25, 2017 | Uncategorized

By Lisa Lin, BA, RMT

BRAVE. This is the power you find within you. It is what ignites your spirit, calls to your heart and gives you endurance in life when facing all obstacles. Brave is not always fearless, but it is limitless. Do you have an image that comes to mind when you think of Brave? I think of a warrior standing strong, feeling alive, clear and transcendent in body, mind and spirit. I could paint a picture across the heavens, in my mind’s eye when I envision what Brave means to me.

Now, at this point, you may be conjuring up you own amazing images, or you may be asking, what? Well, for those of you who are contemplating and painting in your own mind (or on your bedroom wall!), keep at it. For those of you reading this article thinking, what is she talking about? Brave isn’t for me, that is just for people who are confident, successful, have life figured out and are living on easy street, or fight fires, rescue people, and serve in the army.Now, what I, Lisa, am talking about is something so possible, so life enriching, so healing and empowering it may just knock your socks off when you find your very own Brave.

Who is Brave For?

Every single living breathing soul in this world. People who are suffering from abuse, live in poverty, are alone in the world and scared, may be living with chronic pain or terminal illness, suffering loss and dealing with change. To the parent of young children who feels exhausted and overwhelmed after a long day. To the employee who wants to shine his or her light in the company and feels undervalued. To the young man who wants to go on a date with a beautiful girl he just met. To the students who worry if they will pass exams and get to graduate. To the man or woman who is contemplating retirement after years of service, wondering how the future might look. Brave is for us all. “When you find your Brave inside you will know what I am talking about“

6 Ideas to Inspire Your Brave

1. Music – have songs you like? Here are my favorites for Brave (check them out on YouTube – and better yet dance to them, I do with my kids!): Music Monday “Sing It Together”, “Be Brave” by Sara Bareilles, “Fight Song” by Rachel Patton, “Try Everything” by Shakira

2. Symbols – surround yourself with pictures, objects, quotes – the ones that remind you about your Brave

3. Self-Talk – what is going on in your brain? Is it lifting you up or taking you down?

4. Books – my favorites – “Rising Strong” by Brene Brown, “Fierce Conversations” by Susan Scott

5. Stories – listen to other people’s struggles and triumphs

6. Support – don’t hold fear inside, it needs to breathe and move for you to be Brave. Check in with a friend, family member, teacher, psychologist, other health practitioner. The people you feel safe with, who remind you who you are and lift you up when you feel like you can’t rise on your own.

Self Care Practices Calgary

Believe in yourself. Anything is possible, go create magnificence in your life as you are already brilliant, beautiful, strong, full of heart and courage. I believe in you.

This is why I love my work at Docere Wellness Centre. I meet so many inspiring and determined clients who have taught me what living courageously and being Brave are. I have met people who are hurting, who have had enough of not feeling well, who ask me for support and as a result,and though I probably have not told them, they have been my inspirational guides who have helped me find my own Brave.

So I thank all of my clients and coworkers from the deepest ventures of my heart for all that you give me everyday. May I always pay it forward, be of service and BE BRAVE.

Want to achieve optimal health? Visit Docere Wellness Centre Today!

Get to Know Your Massage Therapist: Lisa’s Story

by | Sep 18, 2017 | Uncategorized

By Lisa Lin, RMT, HHPR 

I believe if you know a bit about the practitioner you are going to see, you will gain some insight into how she approaches her work, her values, zest for living and determination to support you to be as healthy as you can be.

Massage Therapist NW Calgary

Here is my story on how I became so passionate about creating health in body, mind and spirit.

In my late teens, I started getting interested in health. In highschool Ialready had asthma, would get regular upper respiratory infections that were treated with antibiotics, had some weight gain, was tired a lot and had brain fog. These symptoms went up and down over the years, then when I had my first child at 33 years old,I became an exhausted, overwhelmed parent most of the time.4 years later, whenmy second daughter was only 3 months old, my weight had plateaued higher than pre-pregnancy, my back and neck ached constantly from nursing and caring for young children, I wasn’t drinking enough water and ate too many refined carbohydrates, just trying to keep up with my day. Not a picture of health.

In my 20’s I attended university and college, completed a BA Recreation Administration with a focus on Health and Wellness and a two year diploma as a Holistic Health Practitioner. Being an avid learner (usually 3-4 books on the go at one time) I kept studying via certificates and informal study on my own over the years. Mostly related to self-care practices. This is why by my late 30’s and home fulltime with young children I started asking myself – why didn’t I feel well, after all the years of learning and studying healthy lifestyles and healing? I knew how to take care of myself yet it wasn’t happening. What I came to realize was that it had taken me over 19 years of personal growth work and learning to be really ready to choose health for myself and take full self-responsibility for that decision.

Things rarely happen with longevity until you make an internal decision to go for it.

I knew if I was going to teach self-care to clients again one day and really know what I was talking about (beyond all of my academic understanding) I had to start walking my talk. I also knew that the example I was setting for my daughters was more important than anything I had ever set out to do.

I Set Up A Wellness Program of 3 Basic Steps For Myself

1. Eat Healthier– (no more time or sleep excuses though I was easily up feeding the baby 3x every night with very little rest during the day and taking care of a 4 yr old). This initiative took about 8 months and I lost 45lbs. My nutrition practices still continue to get healthier as I learn more.

2. Exercise– get a solid exercise program in place after I dealt with the nutrition. I remember having an eye to eye conversation with my 5yrold and 1 yr old saying “please work with me here, and participate in the gym childcare 3 times a week so mommy can exercise and be healthy”. Luckily the mommy stare worked as I was crossing my fingers at the time. And it went from there, I had support from a great physiotherapist to get my core muscles in shape after pregnancy and deal with chronic neck and back pain. In my current workout program almost five years later, I still follow and have advanced with the fundamentals she taught me. I am more active now than I have ever been and reaping the rewards from it.

3. Deal With My Emotions– and this was the hardest part – this stay at home momma missed her work dearly. My girls at this point were now 2 and 6 years old when I started going within myself to discover happiness, rather than looking outside for it. I love my children beyond belief and was losing my sense of selftaking care of everyone else all the time.

I was raised to believe it is what good people do, take care of everyone else and if there is anything left over, you get the burnt piece of toast.

Except it wasn’t working very well. Sure my children were thriving, but this mommy was not. I was feeling a confusing mix of being isolated, frustrated, and unchallenged, while being grateful for the time with my children and their health and happiness. The thing is though, by starting to take better care of myself for those previous couple of years through nutrition and exercise I was beginning to feel better. Sure I could have otherwise spent that time and energy cleaning the house or getting the mending done, but I knew I mattered just as much as everyone else. This is where the real healing began.

And so it really began. I mastered my own program. It ignited a journey of self-discovery, reflection, digging up old emotional wounds to heal, and refreshing my skills and training to return to the work I love so much. This is the path I continue with today. I have opened my mind and heart to see the world and people in new ways. My compassion and empathy have expanded further and I’ve begun to discover all the richness and delight life has to offer. I try new activities, give myself a challenge in my workouts, have learned how to say “no” when I want to, catch myself if I start on lazy food habits and mindfully watch my thoughts as to what they’re up to. My life will continue to grow and change in miraculous ways the more I show up with courage to absolutely live it everyday.

What I Believe
Our health is dynamic, nothing ever stays exactly the same in our lives from one second to the next, we just usually aren’t aware of it. Time is like the snowflakes that fall from the sky – not one second is exactly the same as another. We all matter. We all deserve love, happiness, fulfillment and joy. It makes the world stronger and healthier too – peace and compassion grow, our ability to share and teach each other grows too. That is why I highly encourage you, at your own pace to love yourself more each and everyday and make choices to honor you. You can start, step by step just like I did.

If you need support along the way, come see any of us at Docere Wellness Centre and we will be your cheering squad and provide you with the education, materials and know how to live your best life possible.