By Amanda Delamer, Leadership Coach, MSc, CPCC, PCC
We are faced with circumstances beyond our control every day, both personally and professionally. How we respond to those circumstances has an incredible impact – on us, on those around us, and on our decision making processes. And when facing challenging circumstances at work, it can leave us longing for greener grass somewhere else.
Sometimes a new environment and a fresh start can be beneficial, and even necessary. Sometimes it can be helpful to stay in it and discover more about ourselves. And sometimes it might be a bit of both.
Have you ever thought about quitting your job? What were your reasons? For many, the idea of leaving their job has nothing to do with the work itself, but instead, it is due to their feelings and experience with their boss or other colleagues.
People don’t necessarily quit their jobs, they quit their boss and/or the people they work with. So what if shifting how you are showing up and engaging could result in you not running for the door?
Consider how you are currently approaching relationships and conflict at work with your boss and/or colleagues. How do you approach a difficult conversation? When you are under pressure, what are your natural tendencies? How do others experience you when you are in a challenging situation?
Changing up your approach to challenging conversations and situations can leave you feeling empowered and energized, now, even at your current job, and setting you up for even greater success if you do decide to move on.
The Approach: Fight. If you can’t beat ‘em, join them. I think it is safe to say we may have all used this approach at some point in our lives, even at work. Think of a time when you were treated in a way that left you fuming, hurt, confused, frustrated, and your response came from a place of “enough!” Your approach – maybe you decided to stick it to them, gave them a taste of their own medicine, lashed out, or even decided to resign yourself and just ignore them. You probably, to some extent, responded in a way that mimicked that exact thing that drives you crazy about how they treat you. It leaves you feeling hungover, wishing you would have handled a situation differently.
The Approach: Flight. Retreat, rehash, repeat. We’ve all been there. Laying awake at 2 am beating ourselves up that we let someone talk to us or treat us that way. Rehashing a conversation you had at work, wishing you would have stood up for yourself, spoke your mind, had a voice, been honest about how you are feeling… Argh, I wish I would have said ____. This approach can leave you feeling exhausted and consumed by work.
Approach: Lead. Draw on your courage within and lead. Think of a conversation you recently had, where you disagreed or spoke up about something that did not feel right for you. Maybe it was a conversation with someone at work, or maybe with your partner or friend. When we lead, all parties walked away with dignity. When you lead at work, you can leave at the end of the day feeling good about how you showed up, how you treated others, you shared your thoughts and ideas, you are good. And you have energy left to be present with the people you love and achieve personal goals that bring you joy.
We all have it in us to take a breath, show up, and lead. Leaders are not leaders because of a title they possess, but because of how they show up and the impact they have on the world around them. How you lead impacts your environment. It has an impact on your workplace culture. It has an impact on both your personal and professional relationships. It has an impact on your family and friends. It has an impact on how you experience joy in your life. Take responsibility and lead.
Don’t let challenges at work take the lead. Book in for a coaching consult with Amanda today!
Amanda Delamer is a Leadership and Life Coach. Amanda coaches and supports people in living healthy, balanced, and joyful lives, with a focus on leadership, self-awareness, and fulfillment. She coaches and honours the whole person – mind, body, and spirit. Her clients experience fulfillment in all parts of their lives – health, family, relationships, career, and beyond – and they value and appreciate that all parts of their lives are connected, and we all have a responsibility in and for the world around us. She lives in Calgary, Alberta, Canada with her husband and three children.